AFC East 1st Half Report Card

We are a 1/2 way through the season and many teams have not performed
as planned. We have decided that report cards should be sent out. Some
fans will be happy to see how their teams stack up. Some would like to
use the genius plan I gave a kid walking home with me in the first
grade…hide it underneath a car tire where your Mom will never find it.
Grades are determined by where they rank in the league in each
category. Feel free to praise or scold teams in the comment section
below. Check out the other divisions as well.

Offense

Points Per Game:

First Half=A
First Quarter=A

Passing Yards:

First Half=A
First Quarter=B+

Rushing Yards:

First Half=B
First Quarter=A

Defense
Points Allowed:

First Half=B+
First Quarter= A

Yards Per Game:

First Half=A
First Quarter=A

Comments: The Patriots have continued to bully the rest of the league. At this point there is no reason to believe they won’t finish at the top of the class. There is a big drop off in this class from here and the brutish Pats know it.
The rest of the teams…

Offense

Points Per Game:

First Half=D-
First Quarter=F

Passing Yards:

First Half=F
First Quarter=F

Rushing Yards:
First Half=C
First Quarter=C

Defense
Points Allowed:

First Half=B-
First Quarter= C

Yards Per Game:
First Half=F
First Quarter=F

Comments: Strange thing is if the Bills were in the same class as the AFC West they would be tied for first place. The only improvement comes in the points they are allowing but this has been enough to get some W’s.

Offense
Points Per Game:

First Half=D+
First Quarter=C-

Passing Yards:

First Half=D+
First Quarter=C

Rushing Yards:
First Half=C-
First Quarter=D-
Defense
Points Allowed:

First Half=D-
First Quarter= D

Yards Per Game:
First Half=F
First Quarter=D-
Comments: We have concerns for the mental health of the Jets. They have not been showering, they are giving things away, and they are sleeping a lot. They have been placed on suicide watch.

Offense

Points Per Game:

First Half=C+
First Quarter=C

Passing Yards:

First Half=C
First Quarter=B-

Rushing Yards:
First Half=B-
First Quarter=C-
Defense
Points Allowed:

First Half=F
First Quarter= F

Yards Per Game:
First Half=D+
First Quarter=A
Comments: There are concerns that the Dolphins have given up on this year and don’t mind being held back. They appear to be in a race for the first draft pick next season.

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One Response to “AFC East 1st Half Report Card”


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