Let me speak at the Rookie Symposium

The annual Rookie Symposium is set to take off this week. All NFL rookies are gathered to go over what not to do as an NFL player. Well, what not to do as a person. Current NFL players and people in the know go over topics like money, women, pot, drinking, chicks, security, dealing with personal issues, strippers, “your buddies”, dealing with success, babes, life after football, media stuff, and women.

This season may be easier than ever before to put together a curriculum for the four day treat. Binders with newspaper clippings from the past year would do it. ProFootballtalk.com could be a good source. Their popular “Turd Watch” has already compiled a decent list of things not to do.

Reggie Bush, who isn’t too far into his NFL career himself, is set to speak at the event.

“I think a lot of it is very good for the rookies to hear. I just kind of wish they would just do it earlier,” Bush said. “Because by that time, you’ve kind of already started to go through some of the things they’re talking about or you’ve been through them.”

I don’t claim to be any kind of expert but I have some simple ideas myself.

First…I think that the Rookie Symposium should not be held in a shiny happy place like San Diego. It should be held in Canton, Ohio. I had discussed in the past how I felt that a tour of The Hall of Fame should be required before a rookie takes the field. What better time then the Symposium? My thoughts were there may be a slim chance that they would get a better feel of appreciation for the position they are in and what they may accomplish in their career. It may not make a difference but if we could just save one of these kids it would be worth it! I am ashamed to say it but will give credit where it is due…Michael Irvin gave me this idea…I know, right?

I’m sure it has been mentioned before but maybe these kids should have ot go through this before entering the NFL Draft. At least you could say they had warning before they have that few months between the draft and camp with too much money and time on their hands.

Okay, let’s talk about going out on the town. Traveling in a pack, you kids like to call it a posse or entourage, will not protect you, it will make you a target. The quickest way to have some nobody want to kick your ass or stick you is to say, “Hey, look at me.”

If you look at someone wrong in a bar you could be facing a lawsuit suggesting you pay $1.5 million in damages. You no longer have the right to get in a fight or hit on a woman like Larry the Redneck on the other side of the bar.

Don’t walk around with your hand in a bucket of water because at some point your ass is going to get hit with a taser gun. In fact, anyone not paying attention during the symposium should be hit with a taser gun.

No good can come from going to a strip club. You can afford to have them come to you now…like on a boat…on Lake Minnetonka.

Don’t drink and drive.

Don’t drink and drive with a gun in the car.

Don’t drink and let someone else drive.

Don’t partake in any sport that features one animal tearing apart another animal.

Don’t let family members live in your house that partake in any sport that features one animal tearing apart another animal.

If you didn’t meet a good woman up until this point good luck. You are prime game to have your ego stroked and wallet smoked. If she has a calculator in her hand all signs should point to “get the hell outta here.”

There we are. I’ll let the speakers at the get together cover the rest. Now we can wait to see who hits the San Diego Police station first this week.

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